Monday, December 31, 2012

Happy 2013 AD From Why to How Crossed


Dear All,


The HOW HOMELAND convention on 30th December 2012  has created a Historic Milestone in our sacred struggle for Homeland ( only geopolitical settlement for KPs).

It is not meant to silence the critics  or to raise the morale  or  push our movement into the new strata where logical confinement of few don't deter our conviction & resurgence. 
Its significance would be realized as our community enables itself into the glorious harbinger of peace , prosperity & creation of this HOMELAND.

I am highly obliged to every single member of society (including non KPs)  for being part of this successful event. The list is so long that if I miss any single name inadvertently ( including the names of our critics who have unknowing helped us to reach this milestone ) , it would be a great sin in my life. 

2013 sets new dimensions and objective focus automatically.  Only Mantra to success would be to think irrational & out of box ,be forceful to your limits & be faithful to our conviction. 

Message is loud & clear to everyone in community.

1. While as we excel in our personal & professional life , the purpose of our living would be satisfied but our aim in life has to be bigger than this."Identity with Pride to achieve homeland "
2. Panun Kashmir is the only political construct/idiom, which is now applicable to even the broader counters of PANUN INDIA. 
3. A phase of struggle has started where the economically & professional enabled Community has to take this struggle from streets into power corridors.
4. 'How Homeland' document has given clear framework to everyone that Homeland is possible within the legal framework of Indian Constitution as such it is for us to use our resources and joint focus for its achievement.

 
While as our elders in 1990s gave us WHY HOMELAND , We started a tryst from Pune, 1st International  KP Youth Conference with HOW HOMELAND.

Looking at bright young & confident new generation of comrades in Homeland Movement , I am sure WHEN HOMELAND isn't that far anymore.


With all Humbleness at my disposal  & Love to all of you !

Wishing you a Happy 2013 AD !

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Free Afzhal Guru But !


Dear  Ahmed Ali fayyaz,

My reply is neither any passionate appeal against your column  nor any hate email but a request for self introspection among Kashmiri Muslim Masses before they call on India to forgive Afzhal Guru.
  •  Your column very well lets the audience know that Sopore  an apple town , proclaims God is Great so many times a day but has easily forgotten that the temple bells that used to ring from one side of Jhelum to other are quite now. People of the town have made sure that Wullar Surroundings goes to Nimaz 5 times a day but there is no Hindu household in its vicinity left to pray at any temple.  Can I seek Magnanimity from this Muslim Town ? 
  •  It is the same JKLF to whom Afzhal Guru belonged in 1990-91, when Mrs Ganjoo  was widowed on the Jhelum banks & later on abducted to Pakistan by the same militant gang. Her husband was butchered on the same river bank from where Gurus drive inspiration on India today. Hope you haven’t forgot that. May be her children have grown up today to seek justice against the Sopore Muslim town atrocities committed on hapless minorities in 1990-91
  •  Didn't Mr Sattar Guru teach the lessons of Indian Geography ,  culture and composite knowledge to his fellow kashmiris who stood mute witness to the exile of its own aborigniees Pundits but he in fact made sure that their apple orchids are either annexed , trees cut as they belonged to Kafirs and houses burnt till they were sold in distress on peanut sales every year. 
  •  Hatred of India led Afzhal to Pakistan but logic of reason made him surrender.Ultimately to rise against the same institution which gave all the freedom to be a free man. If Prof Geelani  or Md showkat were let free with evil interpretation & flawed translation of JKLF commensurate  Mohd Kak ( Post conversion name ) I wonder why Mohd Afzhal should be held back. I demand his release and he be awarded with Padma Shree next year. For the system has succumbed long back to the traitors. 
  •  For  Sikh converted to Muslim daughter in law, Afshan is indeed the victorious Heroine of this three act play of events. In Nizame Mustafa one who converts & proves to be loyal than the king in their atrocities towards the other minorities or the plural society is taken into high esteem. So have you in your editorial put her in highest esteem. Keep it up. May be if Mrs Ganjoo would have converted on the dead body of her husband in 1990 , she would have found mention in your column.
  • I am very sure that like Batla case encounter , the security Men in the parliament should be blamed for letting the terrorists into parliament & the men who laid their lives defending the Parliament should be awarded highest award of foolishness by State of India who has collaborated with people like Prof Geelani so many times.
  • You will be supported by many in Indian State in your mission to make Afzhal a morsel figure like Su Kyi of Burma & get him released to the so called freedom of Jehadi Kashmir. 
  •  Nation of India wont rise against the elements of Hurriyat among you because State has insulated their emotions and they are left unconscious in name of democracy & secularism but I pray to almighty that they wake up to raise the conscious of this state which should have hung Afzhal Guru along with Yasin malliks , Bitta Karates & geelanis who are accountable to murder of secular fabric in Kashmir & indeed guilty of ethnic cleansing
Afzhal Guru is a puppet in the hands of bigger players who still enjoy the bonhomie of Indian State. Indeed he should be freed and real masters hanged to free their nation from hidden enemies of humanity. Just yesterday Pakistani Parliamentarians were here to learn Indian Parliament functioning and none uttered a word on the parliament attack on December 13. 

Here you go as you have full support of Govt of India in your movement to render this parliamentary democracy paralytic one day.

With regards`,
Veer ji wangoo

Monday, November 12, 2012

Community stands with conviction and not by election alone




They are young , energetic & responsible but with an intel inside mentality & F1 Outside . KP YOUTH of 2012 ! Mark them or else you will miss them. While as 90’s saw the rejuvenation of new generation , it was definitely the economic boom that let our community youth to ride it on right time. Some prospered in foreign lands and some became ‘who is who’ of Industry in India acquiring knowledge , Respect and wealth. 

The humbleness of being KP among Youth made him a silent worker of society always and collaborate with senior in any working organization of Kashmiri Pandits in what so ever form and where ever. When called for Financial assistance  they have contributed the best from their pockets . When asked for protest , they have even forced their way wherever possible . When asked to do social service they definitely gave their blood , sweat and tears always for this community. Idea for many such youngsters was not create an inflated ego for themselves but to create a survival kit for this community which is in exile and henceforth always needs fresh oxygen to breathe. They sacrificed their careers , time , energy and effort for the sake of community at times.

I have been witness to many such events as an activist , as a participant , as a life member of many local KP Organizations  and above all as an observer on the declining trend of youth participation in last 1 decade in community affairs. Last ditch attempts by many to overcome the RED TAPISM in our KP Sabhas has made them take desperate experiments in order to prove the logical continuity of rationalism prevailing in our Community. I have been witness to one such experiment recently which has made me to write this observation. It goes without saying that my write up is not an attempt to be against the said Organization or its elected member but on the process & psychosis under which we create these conditions per say.  

My political ideology doesn’t come in my fair assessment to the state of local KP sabhas as they have been limited to the upkeep of Havan , Bhavan but have wider scope in local community and serve as a vital input to the overall goal of this community.  It is that essential stream or Brooke that will feed into the bigger river of Homeland Movement oneday as such they are often of great interest to me. They need to be healthy state and local nerve centers if we have to survive in exile.

This write up also doesn’t signify that I will be less cooperative in any sense to any of these KP Sabhas. It is a healthy criticism of my own community and it is my duty to do so. I seek forgiveness if by any chance ,it hurts the sentiments of anyone by any chance.I still owe allegiance to elected member and respect the institutions.

As someone said that intelligent are silent and self-proclaimed are making too much noise that is why the pandemonium of KP social & political spectrum has seen the biggest ever lost of Youth Participation. I dealt at length  with KP youth affairs from Jammu to Jersey and was appalled by the lack of interest in youth in their  / 30’s for Community affairs &, I found eschewed bitterness in them towards any social or political activism for KP causes. Result has proved beyond doubt  that youth are at cross roads and first four victims are

1. Loss of language & values
2. Loss of Religious & cultural continuity
3. Intercaste Marriages &  conversions to other religions
4. Loss of family bonding & high rate of Divorces

Then excuses have also changed their way from being over busy in professional life to any personal compulsions & open dissatisfaction with agenda of Damaloo & Daal committees. But when I scratch the surface , reality is haunting to such an extent that it feels that we are indeed writing the last pages of our history as a community.   

One of its first kinds ,much before Obama changed the face of democracy . I was really watching the curious turn of events when a young president of Overseas association was frustrated to such an extent that he never stood up again for the presidency of that championing organization.  Also much before the elections , this democratic ways of elections lost its meaning when campaigning turned into nasty personal attacks on him.  Youth followers across the community were indeed appalled at the loss of moral standards in that elections.  It served a rejoinder to all of them that this community doesn’t provide space to any Political / social strata for youth. Because that overseas association was a benchmark for the educated class among us.

Few years back in any KP Havans, we used to have massive number of Young folks as workers distributing Damaloos & Daal to people, holding steaming Rice  with perfection but at least the trend has been replaced into buffet system owing to shortage of so called young workers.  Where are they ? Is it really the shortage or those young hands that have abandoned the very cause of KPs rituals ?   

I conducted  a personal survey on mechanism & data of membership for at least 5 KP organizations and statistics are as below

1.      Membership  of at least 3 Sabhas out of 5 was obsolete to more than 42 ~ 45 %  
2.      Not more than 40% KPs were active  member or members at all in these associations.
3.      Not more than 5% members were in active age group of 20-40
4.      Not more than 10% of these bracketed age Group (20-40) was participating in that organization.
5.      None of these Sabhas could ever hold more than 1.5 functions a year which included Havans.
6.      None of these Sabhas were able to attract more than 10% of total community around their area for any function.

Results are astonishing and really alarming for the community & hence prove the dismissal record of community cohesive and participation .


A couplet from Brij Nath Betabh famous poem reminds me of the legacy that is yet to unfold

Naves doras ander pake bronth suy akh
Chu rahbar nav javaan yas kaarevanas
Pazzar posheich chi prakrat mushqe chatunuy
Tagun gache sag ti dyun tat bhagewannas

English translation

Will see the dawn of the new firmament
The caravan of who, is by the precept of youth,
Nurse the young buds with dreams and reveries
In veracity will the fragrance blossom of youth

Now let me take a dig at a scenario in 2009 Havan at a local body where I used stay those days. I remember a classical case where the Executive Members , President & Secretary General of that esteemed Sabha ate the Havan Prasad first , followed by their near & dear ones as per the ritual. Young silent workers kept on serving but when they sat for LANGER , there was none serve them.

They might have looked to be ordinary men or women but some missed their flights and some their office for next few days . They concluded that it was not social service but social punishment from that KP Sabha where management took their humbleness for granted.  Since then I haven’t seen them distributing even glass of water in that Sabha nor could I see any fresh face in that sabha which would volunteer to even spread  ‘Dastarkaan ‘ . The Community lost a band of volunteers just because Senior Membership couldn’t retain a sense of belonging to the young workers other than using them as TENT boys. 

Few Weeks back , a Blood Donation camp was organized and attendance was minimal to the edge of shame that volunteers were to be ferried from other states to save grace of the Sabha. But what changed the proportion in just few weeks when elections were announced. 

On Election day same Members ferried the voters with hired taxis and cars for polling as if this seat of service has changed to seat of power forever & losing an election would create a dent on their selfrespect. Had the same logistics been pressed into service then for sure Blood camps would have got more than 50 units of Blood. What I witnessed during elections was another spectacular analysis.  I was indeed feeling pity when I saw men in 90s and 80s coming to vote but none to be found in 20-30s .

In total membership of 1500 plus association, 60 people stood as candidates for election which mean a representative calculation  ~ 1: 20.  Was it a rat race or was it ego tussle ? Was it a really SEWA bhaav  or more or less small disorganized bands of people making sure that only a particular set of people are in that Sabha.  An instance of both husband wife being in election , an instance of few areas with totally none to represent and few areas with more than total representation of 20% in the candidate list.
It was a disproportionate case of candidature selection upfront and was followed by election as well.  A ratio that is more than Kinder garden nursery sampling where we have 1 teacher per 20 kids.  Did we have so many leadership ambitious people and ready to participate in election. Answer is again in numbers that not more than 10% pooled more than 10% of total electorate. Hence the top 10 selection is a misnormer or an eyewash.

Those who voted  across the list and based on merit ( which was very difficult for me ) were really puzzled at the exercise. I didn’t vote for a close friend of mine although being as my conscious didn’t allow me  & I also didn’t vote for one set or section of people but made fair assessment of every candidate.

A team of young folks over a bet on tea decided to stand for election within the age group of 25 ~ 40 to test the  preaching v.s practicing of elders who often stress on youth participation. Expecting that big  talk from community seniors that they need young minds and hands to work will support them anyhow as such don’t need to campaign.

One section running for presidency took the opportunity to make them as part of their list and another by sheer number game and resources pooled in so much effort that none of them won. Although none of them was hurt or happy but analysis of this result is disheartening. Not a single voter would have ever cared to look for merit of having half a dozen youngsters in the executive other than voting for his known buddy or old ages pre 90s  or his cousin or his relative.  Worst is yet to come as these are only symptoms that experiment failed . KP society is still light years away from adapting or adopting the young minds.  

Late papa ji J N Kaul would tell his executive that running for presidency isnt only strengthening the grass root democracy but adoring the apparel of servant . He would also reiterate that the first mantra of community survival is to accept and adopt  the youth. 

I congratulate the winners of elections that they have succeeded in retaining the seat of power but I regret that they have lost the seat of service to youth for ever.

Results would unfold in coming years when the lack luster sabhas will have little or no youth participating other than few handpicked individuals who might make it further dysfunctional. Like Arya Samaj movement , all KP sabhas are losing the youth not only in community initiatives but at home also. Like Jammu , they would soon become old age homes automatically with youth being in Americas or turning away from family /social commitments and Old will be in Villas/ flats with maids waiting for them to die & call their siblings abroad. Even the Kriya Karam would have to be prebooked with non KP association & oblations performed over video conferencing or Skype.

When an old Tree falls , it makes lot of cracking noise & so would be the fate of  this article but it is important to make every KP Sabha realize  that prosperity of community is in continuity but not in inflated ego games of election where we waste enormous money & effort. Community stands with conviction and not by election alone.

Late papa ji J N Kaul would tell his executive that running for presidency isnt only strengthening the grass root democracy but adoring the apparel of servant . He would also reiterate that the first mantra of community survival is to accept and adopt  the youth. 

In Personal Capacity ,

Veer ji Wangoo





Saturday, September 08, 2012

प्रथम था मै रंग हा तेरा , प्रथम था मेरा स्थान !

प्रथम था मै रंग हा  तेरा ,  प्रथम था मेरा स्थान  !
मुझ मै थी सारी आशा , मुझ से था सारा ज्ञान ! (२) 

जाने क्या किसने सोंचा ,कैसे लिए मेरे प्राण !
अन्न, धन ,मान तेरा , तेरा ही सम्मान ! (२) 

जब भी माँगा तूने मुझसे ,दिया मैंने भालिदान !
आज का नहीं ,सदियूं से थी केसरी तेरी पहचान ! (२) 

क्यूँ तू इसको छुपाये अब और क्यूँ है यह पीड़ित परेशान !
तीजा हरा झो प्यारा अभ है तुज्को , तो मिटाए तू मेरे निशान ! (२) 


जाने हा (२) जाने क्या (२) किसका षड्यंत्र है यह  !

रक्षा करे इस द्व्ज की भगवान् ! रक्षा करे इस द्व्ज की भगवान् !  (२) 

Monday, August 20, 2012

66 years of Caesarean Birth


66  years ago a country was reborn from the womb of mid night after a personal tryst of few made its birth possible but it was 'Caesarean'  ( rather than natural ) As it would have in its definition , "  a surgical procedure in which one or more incisionsare made through a mother's abdomen (laparotomy) and uterus (hysterotomy) to deliver one or more babies, or, rarely, to remove a dead fetus. "

Yes , it had more than 1 baby ,Twins were born along a dead fetus. One baby was given surname of #andhi and another Puritan. Dead fetus of #ashmir is still buried for 66 years as a tomb in front garden.

THey tried to give this baby a surname but within few months of its birth the parents couldnt survive but surname survives till now thanks to robustness of  "#andhi".  Some thought it was orphan but surname made sure it survived the society that encircled it. Since the abdomen was cut to deliver another baby as such that wound remain unhealed for another 66 years as doctors didn't stay for long and left during mid night in haste.

The younger baby, born was weak but had extremist ideology  and yet was called 'Puritan' by its maid as it got imported governess from UAE & USA. As it was younger of two siblings as such people were more caring in name of God fearing religion. 

Time moved on & both babies started fighting our toys initially. People sided with younger one quite often as long as they could but after couple of big fights both siblings were separated. DNA tests revealed the parenthood of both babies was different although they were born from same womb.   While as elder one tried its best to reclaim brotherhood but younger one took it always as hegemony of elder one and made sure that its self reliance & purity isn't infected by #andhian  thoughts. 

The Trysting uncle of Baby #andhi couldn't bear the non sense of this puritan & often resorted to going to Uncle Sams new tennis court called UN. It was UNclear to everybody till today what he got in return.

Time moved on & #andhi baby started to learn on its own and thought to become civilized in the immediate company of a naughty fragile Puritan Baby. Every time #andhi would get some accolade in school , puritan would make sure to break the trophy at home or annex it .  Annexation was taught as the legal means of owning the shield. 

Every small battle cry often made sure that elder #andhi baby gets bruised.  Puritan amassed huge respect among back benchers, crowd of cheeky chinks & some oil rich spoiled brats of school. He even surpassed  all records of indiscipline but got some good friends who required this so called Puritan 

Anyhow , Mr #andhi thought to graduate quickly and move away from the company of Puritan with some far away friends and he did succeed in his voyage. Unlike Puritan  landing up with smoking charas , teasing neighborhood Aghani Girls , fighting in back yard with every neighbour and teaching even his youngsters to break the tallest buildings in world.  The contradiction was evident to the society in general.  Mr #andhi became well known businessman and name to reckon in civilized society. 

Mr #andhi was contended to ignore Puritan now but quite often for the noise that Puritan would make from his home and throw the night soil across into his kitchen garden.  Uncle Tryster had died of a shock when a chinky stole his marble table top on which not a blade of grass would grow & he boldly announce thought that he didnt care but before his death he had appointed the caretaker of garden as the same person who was actually the biological father of Puritan. Naturally with time all the insider information of Mr #Andhis home passed into the hands of  Puritan and one fine day , Mr Garden announced in public some revelations that created furor in society.

Puritan wasn't ignoring Mr #andhi and wanted to make sure to spoil the progress out of jealous. It tried all avenues of breaking window panes , throwing night soil into his garden , annexing front door with his Pan Tapri , made lewd comments on  family members of mr #andhi.  Finally one day #andhi had to seal the front gate of house as tweet pelting & puritan goons had started to trouble him. He realised it is safer to stay inside the house and abstain using front route which passed through Puritans home.

Meanwhile Mr Gardner & Puritan teamed up and claimed the front kitchen to be given to Puritan for two reasons.One  that Gardner has been tilling the gardens and two Puritan is his biological son as such legally and under law ful acts of tilling , he should be given the garden. As fate would have it , Mr #Andhis tyrster uncle rather than burying the dead fetus had kept it with Gardner and he claimed the tomb of same in Garden & being its biologic father too. Now Society thought it inappropriate to conduct DNA test of dead fetus after 66 years.

Dead fetus of #ashmir was carried for 66 years as tomb now became bone of contentions along with front garden. Mr #andhi stopped going to office , had to stay at home and gaurd his family . He is now crippled while as so called Puritans roams around the compound finding & utilizing every single opportunity against the peaceful family holed up inside the building.

Lets see what happens next to this Caesarean born twins & dead fetus  as the battle continues. 

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Dawn of Panun India


Long back in 1990s , when half a million Hindus of Kashmir gave a political idiom to their suffering , world was watching them equally in resistance and acceptance . Some stood behind the lines and some on the fence , while as some took measures to break the bones of Margdharshan  much before it could unleash itself .Yet it survived and rejuvenated itself  after quarter of century. Author wants to take summarized view point on its relevance to blood stained & injured Hindu society of India.

From the Pacifier sucking centralist to the Lathi wielding Rightist , from the State sponsored bureucrat to the anti national extremist with AK 47 , this resolution was a hard hitting response on political empowerment of minority community in Muslim majority State.  A question mark on the constitutional pillars of India. A Brave act in History of independent India by a minuscule community of Hindus who never ever would have killed a lamb by themselves yet it was so audacious that every Intellectual community has been debating it for 23 years now.

Today ,these half a million   Kashmiri Pandits might have got mixed within broader contours of  Indian Civilization but they have acted like  salt in the the flour. Post 1990 , the dough isn't sweet any more but it is salty & every state / non state actor knows it very well.  Thanks to the content rich Rock salt of KP intelligentsia .

Demolition of Janambhumi structures wouldn't have been catalyzed if the ideological impetus wouldn't have come from the Kashmir situation. Ekta Yatra (1991)  preceded all these Yatras and that is where this salt of Kashmir made Hindu Dynamite more robust.  Those in action during 1990s remember very well the hustle and bustle of hindu Right wing cadre with Kashmiri Pandit Youth across pan India.

Between all this ,a segment of society within this new found camaraderie didn't anticipate that KPs would ask for separate union territory as it went against the ideology of Akhand Bharat  .It was difficult for them to comprehend that Panun Kashmir would be the building block of Panun Bharat . Concept of  Akhand Bharat was devastated in 1947 and it was irreversible.

KPs understood it as they were the sacrificial catalysts of the Kashmirs Secularism accidental experiment but larger masses in Sangh / Hindu Organisations couldn't understand it owing to their ideological compulsion. Thus the wide split in ranks was imminent.

State Actors used situation to their best advantage and planted various people to divide PK and weaken it. No wonder they broke the Party but they couldn't break the HOMELAND concept. When after 22 years , someone challenged the concept of WHY HOMELAND  that very moment HOW HOMELAND was the answer from youth for these doubting thomases. Pune Conference sent the shock waves among those who thought to dismiss it. Ratification by so many US Senators , MP Assembly and other Hindu Organisation across the world has given a new Meaning to this concept.

Experiment of Secularism & concept of  Akhand Bharat  has failed in Kashmir and now at verge of failure in whole of India as well. This leads us to firm conclusion that two Nation theory of Jinnah was right and we have failed ourselves.

What else can justify the  existence of so many refugees &  pathetic condition of large segments of Hindu society in South Asia . We have Bamiyan Budhas being broken in heart of Hindu heartland / Cow Belt .We have now 3rd wave of radicalization initiated by those who never believed in secularism but stayed on to prove us wrong after 66 Years .

From Owaisi , Madhnis , Bukharis to Abu , Karates , Kasab, Dawoods & Jindals : We must acknowledge that Indian appeasement to keep these snake charmed up has failed. They are here to bite and kill us. What are the options for Indian Society to save and stop the venom ? We need antidote !

What does this mean for the broader India in current context ? Is HOMELAND ideology only specific to KPs or doesnt it have learning for wider population of India ? Should larger Hindu segment of India give up the claim of Akhand Bharat and look for Panun Bharat wherein naturalized citizenship is awarded to Hindus like Jews in Israel ? Wherein we have one constitution , one flag and one law.

Have we reached the place in history of India where in we have to scale down and lock down the territorial borders of our nation to defend the progeny. I feel the answer is very much in  Margdharshan   for them too.

Alas , if they have that intellectual capacity to understand , absorb , reform  and Implement it.



Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Khoon Khaulta Hai Mera : painful voice of a KP (a to z by nitin dhar)

Painful Voice of 2nd Generation Kashmiri Pandits in Exile ..

Desperation of Homeland is causing not just frustration but anger & resentment !

One must listed to the pain

Khoon Khaulta Hai Mera : painful voice of a KP (a to z by nitin dhar)

Thursday, June 07, 2012

Pain of Suffering : Kakni & Deentoth !


Summer was at its peak and influx of fresh refugees had still not halted. It was fortnight of  ascending Moon in month of ZYETH and moon was shining as bright as it could on this silent town..

Never ever  had it witnessed so much hustle and bustle ever since war ended in 1971.  Most of the people were sleeping on roof tops & trying to catch as much cool breeze as possible when  an One ton shrieked in this small hamlet next to Dhar Road. It made enough noise to wake up the neighborhood from their half sleep.

Suddenly someone screamed aloud "KAKNI  Waatch " [Kakni has arrived & silence of the village was broken with loud  grinding halt of this truck.  Some men rushed down the street to welcome the new refugees & lights were switched more as a mark of  respect than necessity.

One USHA table fan at the corner was suddenly the most sought item for guests arriving into the compound .  In this chaos a newly purchased pot was broken but not withstanding the whole pressure , Rani ( the housewife ) ran with its cold water towards the gate.

An Elderly gentleman Sh Dina Nath ( DEENTOTH ) came down from truck with a Faren wrapped like a priced possession in his hand. Rani couldn't recognize her uncle Dina Nath as he wasn't putting his TURBAN on his head but still she hugged this lean structure who was carrying fragrance of scented Thokur kuth. His sacred thread was leaning and yet clinched to his fair skin like his arteries. 

He was turning his head back & forth  trying to evade his attention as if ignorant about the happenings . His Sister in law KAKNI was still in truck.

KAKNI was still out of bounds, as few men were trying to get her down from  trunk ; she was in fainted state on a big Iron trunk which had wet bed sheets on it.  

RANI realised that her mother KAKNI isnt in right health. She was not in her Faren or beautiful Tarang. All her clothes were  in a small plastic bag of Deentoth which he silently passed to RANI. Kakni was in semi nude , unconscious state wrapped like corn ( makaye watt ) in wet bed sheets & Deentoths Poch ( inner cotton wear of Faren )

Soon Buluji ( Ranis Husband ) announced that Kakni has suffered heat stroke while on way from kashmir to Jammu.  It was like the  last bad news that folks around wanted to hear. Deentoth was saddened to arrive at the in laws of his Niece in such pitiable condition. But there wasnt any alternative for the,.

Worse than ever , Kakni ( who was like sister since she became widow at young age ) was to enter her daughters home in POCH. He was in a state of  shock which was worse than his brothers death in 1960s when he took control of the situation. 

His small wine shop in Srinagar was burnt long back and terrorists were looking out for him & he was praying to almighty that rather than entering the Ranis place in such condition it was better to have died at hands of terrorists.

In between night passed , Deentoth received his son Bittu Ji next morning  who was working in J&K bank at Vijay Nagar branch of Jammu.  He was young with lot of energy to survive & move on. He wanted to take Kakni & Deentoth immediately but by then Kakni was admitted in Govt Hospital Udhampur.

Deentoth was in state of shock  and his son was forcing him to move with him as early as possible and being in inlaws places during such conditions wasn't a morally right decision.  Rani too had a big extended family to take care & with in laws relatives arriving day after day , it was too difficult to justify the presence of cousin , uncle and others in her house.

On one side Deentoth was  spending most time in govt Hospital Udhampur but wouldn't see her sister in law face to face after he was asked to remove her clothes in that one ton truck and place Ice around her private body parts.  

He felt the pain  as if being dishonored in front of whole world but was happy that it saved his dear KAKNI. Now the compulsion to be with his son at Vijay Nagar was like sword hanging on his neck.

During winter he used to be there for few weeks but then it wasnt a comfortable place for him & considering KAKNI  ( whom he used to call Sita & himself Laxman ) was in hospital . Leaving her under the care of  Rani & her family would have been a big sin for him.

Kakni too was tense as she was gaining conscious and was worried that she will live with her daughters inlaws or she would have to mingle with Bittu ji family. Her problem was that Biitu ji had married non kashmiri girl from punjab who might not like her their lifestyle. 

As days passed , pressure was mounting on both Deentoth & Kakni to chose the course of events.  Bittu ji revisited in between but without his wife which was giving right signal to Kakni .  Silence of Rani was reminder that all wasn't well on her side.

Finally Deentoth decided to go with Son for few days after Rani was restored to some health and rested in small alley with Usha Fan ( a privilege given to old & sick ).   

Few days passed and then one fine day Deentoth fell ill as well at Vijay Nagar. With time relationship weakened and both oldies were at mercy of young to make them meet. They could only plan to meet and never actually could meet.

One night Deentoth was thinking to visit Srinagar  again & then on way halt at Udhamput to see Kakni. He wanted to make sure that he completes the property papers which he would keep with Kakni on his return.  

A Letter was received by Buluji from Deentoth that he would be staying with them for few weeks.  Rani & Kakni were excited about the visit of Deentoth although Kakni wasnt well now and her memory was fast failing her. It was onset of late autumn of 1990 & she was still talking about Kangris to be checked for winter.

Much Before Rani could draft a reply , an obituary in Daily Excelsior announcing the sad demise of a KP at Vijay Nagar due to silent Heart attack was read aloud at Dhar Road residence of Rani. Kakni couldn't understand much as she had started to lose memory at fast rate. 

By Shivratri of 1991 , Kakni also breathed her last but the trunk on which she sustained those tumultuous 8 months still was at rooftop till recently.

In May 2012, it has finally been sold as KABAAD and with it the story will be buried for ever. But none would know the that Kakni & Deentoth couldn't meet ever again in exile & this Laxman had to undress his Sita mata to save her. The shock that he never came out of till Kakni met him in Heaven somewhere.......

Pain of Suffering doesn't last for too long but the remembrance of Pain is more painful than pain of suffering itself. !


Today I found a pitcure of both of them at Yes I am Kashmiri Pandit User group on Facebook. 








Tuesday, May 22, 2012

My Home



Days have passed and Months gone by
Years littered in garbage bags around
But time has stopped in my memory lane
Since I was forced to leave my Home !

Five windows so neatly done on every floor
Mid center scented to be called  'Thokers Kuthh'
Above it was hanging " my beautiful 'DUBB' "
Since my forefathers built my Home !

A Doorway alley that ran upto corner road ,
a massive wooden door with a big 'Toorr'
Iron revets shined in crafted wood Door
Since first man entered my home !

I was reborn on Diwali Night ,
Every year my Home shined bright
1989 it shined in Vyeth & My Neighbour admired it ,
Since then none has seen my home !
Since then none has seen my home !
Since then none has seen my home !

Saturday, April 07, 2012

शायद जब तुम ये पड़ो वहां सूरज की किरने न हो !



शायद  जब  तुम  ये पड़ो वहां  सूरज  की  किरने न हो   !
शायद  जब  तक  मै लिखों  यहाँ  सूरज  डल गया  हो !


रोज़  आज  कल  मै  सूरज  की  किरनू को  देखता हूँ !
सोंचता  हूँ  कि काश  मै  भी  इनके  संघ  जा  पावूं !


शायद  इस  जाहान से उस जाहान तक  पहुँच पावूं  !
फिर डर के  बादलूं  के  सएह  मै कही  खो न जावून !


कोई  तो  रसता  होगा  मेरे  दिल  से तुम्हारे  दिल  तक  !
या  की  शायद  कभी  मैंने सोंचा  न  होगा !


शायद  दिल  कि  बातें सोन्चने क़ी नहीं  होती  !
इस  लिए  मे  आज  तक  सोंच  मे  हु !


कि शायद मै  ये  सोंचना  बंध  करूँ !
और सोंच  से  बाहर आकेह  फिर  तुम्हे  यादूं  मे मिल सकूँ 


जहाँ   मेरा   वजूद   नहीं   …
जहाँ   मे   मुझको  पहचानता  नहीं ..
जहाँ  वक़्त  मेरे  होके  मेरा  नहीं …


शायद  मै  आज  फिर  से  सोन्चता हूँ ..
कि  काश  मै  बस  तुम्हरे  रुबरूह  हूँ ..
और  यह  ग़ज़ल  सुना   रहा  हूँ ...


शायद  मै  अभ  लिखता  हूँ ! 
शायद   मै  अभ  देखता  हूँ !
तुम्हारे  रूबरू   अभ   मै  चलता  हूँ !

Cycle of Karma & Trauma

He came as a refugee ,
I felt his pain & let him in !


Fed him Rice & Tea ,
Taught him my goodness !


He settled as my neighbor ,
then he worked with me  !


One day I learnt , he is now  the ruler ,
I went to greet him with warmth !


He chucked me out as an infidel ,
Asked me to be his follower !


I resented his greed & subjugation ,
but he annexed my yard in name of God !


He forced me out of my home ,
Broke my temple to make his Grave !


I stood silently in civilized sorrow ,
He called  me stupid & Weak !


Years passed , I learnt to live ,
some of my own followed him !


Today they fight in between them,
For some are now refugee & neighboring some !

Monday, March 26, 2012

करव करव राज करव .

करव  करव  राज  करव .. 2
भेए पांडव  लर्येन्न  ताज  करव ... 1
करव  करव  अस्यी  राज  करव  ! २  भेए पांडव  लर्येन्न  ताज  करव ... 1 


दाद्येंन   सारणी   दवाः करव ... 2
भेए  ज़ख्मन  प्रन्येन्न  मलहम  करव .. 1
करव  करव  अस्यी  राज  करव  ! 2   भेए पांडव  लर्येन्न  ताज  करव ... 1

कोसर नागस  तय  मनास्बलास   ! 2
भेए   अक्ये  लट्टी  पनुनुय  लोल  बरेव  , 1
करव  करव  अस्यी  राज  करव  ! 2   भेए पांडव  लर्येन्न  ताज  करव ... 1

व्येथी  , सिन्द्येह  ते  व्येशाम्बरेस  , 2
छांटी  करित  अस्येह  अपोर्र  तरव  , 1
करव  करव  अस्यी  राज  करव  ! 2    भेए पांडव  लर्येन्न  ताज  करव ... 1

रूशमित्तन   यारान्न  बेह  यकजाह करव , 2
तक्दिरन्न अस्स्येह  वन्य  लड्ड करेव  1
करव  करव  अस्यी  राज  करव  ! 2    
भेए पांडव  लर्येन्न  ताज  करव ... 1

Monday, March 05, 2012

"I bring you Home"

These lines were written after a desperate full day of work on one of our items but we couldn't meet any success. Finally as I slept on my bed , I felt someone whispering in my ears & in uneasy restless state following lines were written as they came to me !


Kashmir : It sang to me tonight "I bring you Home"
It made me feel like light  ! 
Made me see North star very bright 
Then sang to my ears 
"I bring you Home ! I bring you Home"  !

A stranger led the way we followed !
and choking on the tears we swallowed !
we could not hide as It sang: "I bring you Home ! 

I bring you Home Tonight !  I bring you Home Tonight !
This is your last Night  & so ,I bring you Home tonight "

Sunday, January 22, 2012

क्या सच मे ? मेरे पूर्वज ढूध के दुले नहीं है !

मेरे  पूर्वज  ढूध के  दुले  नहीं  है !
असमंजस  मे   आज  कुछ  विचार  है  !
विचारधारा, विमर्श  से   भी  उपर  है  ! 
क्या सच  मे ? मेरे  पूर्वज  ढूध के  दुले  नहीं  है !


क्यूँ  कि उनकी  गयाः  को वोह  मार  गया है  !
क्यों  कि  उनकी  शयाह  को  वोह छीन  गयाः है  !
क्यूंकि  मेरे  पूर्वज अपने  खून  मै नहाये   है  !
सच मे ,  मेरे  पूर्वज  ढूध के  दुले  नहीं  है !


बटट  मज़ार  मे  आझ  भी उनकी  अस्थि  जुलसी  है  !
खानकहूँ  की  बुनियाद  मे माह काली  की  प्रतिमाह   है  !
दडल झील  के  तले  अभ  भी  उनकी  हडिया  है  !
सच मे ,  मेरे  पूर्वज  ढूध के  दुले  नहीं  है !


रिनचेन  का  खंजर  रानी कोटा की  पीठ मे  है  !
मूसा  का  षड्यंत्रे  इतिहास  मे  रचा बसा  है  !
बुध्शिकन  का  हथोडा   अभ  भी  चलता   है  !
सच मे ,  मेरे  पूर्वज  ढूध के  दुले  नहीं  है ! 

अफ्घान  , अरब  , फारसी  , मंगोल  रोंद  चुकेह है  !
फिर भी शंकराचार्य  पर  मंदिर  की  गंटी अभ भी बजती  है  !
कोहे सुलेमान कोहे मारां  आझ  भी असंभव है
क्यों कि मेरा  पूर्वज  आज  भी  मुझ  v  ज़िन्दः  है  !
क्यूंकि  मेरे  पूर्वज अपने  खून   मे नहाये   है  !
सच मे ,  मेरे  पूर्वज  ढूध के  दुले  नहीं  है ! 
सच मे ,  मेरे  पूर्वज  ढूध के  दुले  नहीं  है ! 

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

The Last page of my History

Story will unfold If I have to ,
Write the last few pages of my History !
The Last white paper in my pad ,
Last drops of Ink in my pot ,
And a broken Pen in my hand!
For whom should I write,
For who will read it,
Now on ?
these last pages of our History ?
Nowhere to go or look for ,
Blank is my last page of History !
Hollowed thoughts with no action,
Will they fill ?
These last pages of our History ?


A line about blood lines
A source that went dry
A gene that went missing
A mother who forgot her spelling ?
Will they be ?
Part of last pages of our History ?
 Mutilation of Martand in ruins ,
The half burnt piles of sacred thread ,
Vermilion smeared shells of Sharda ,
Broken gates of haunting Texla ,
Predator without remorse ,
And Prey with guilty conscious !
Will this my last page of History ?
A Man frozen in  his past ,
A Child slept in dark future ,
An Old Man waiting on Pyre .
For Pyre will be lit one days
to brighten the future of Child .
Its Heat might melt the past !
Will these be the lines  !
written on  my last pages of History ?
My Last pages of History